The relation with the other person is therefore a journey we never complete, where that incompleteness is not an imperfection but testimony to the perfect excess of the other; it is not a loss but a source of endless novelty and discovery. Were the opposite true, our relation to the other would be ruined (an important philosophical point that is spoofed in the Mel Gibson film What Women Want). We can never be sure of what is going on in the heart of the other but we affirm that distance rather than
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